‘You’re Going To Have a Problem’: Canadian Man’s Long-Distance Girlfriend Offers To Pay His $35K Debt. Here’s Why Dave Ramsey Says That’s a Bad Idea

"Should I accept my girlfriend's extremely generous offer of paying off my debt for me?" he asked hosts Dave Ramsey and Jade Warshaw, adding that he’s currently $35,000 in debt.

Ramsey, however, didn’t give much time to even consider the question. In fact, before Garregg could share any additional details about the situation or his relationship with his girlfriend, Ramsey gave a blunt one-word reply: "No!"

Here's why Ramsey was so against the idea.

‘You’re going to have a problem’

After promptly condemning the idea of Garregg’s girlfriend paying off his debt, Ramsey revealed why he took such a strong stance.

"Do not pay debts for people you are not married to,” Ramsey said on the show. “Do not buy houses and cars for or with people you are not married to. Crap happens, and you're going to get sideways and you're going to have a problem.”

Ramsey highlighted multiple reasons why Garregg shouldn’t accept the offer, including the fact that doing so would change the dynamics of the relationship and could lead to big problems if the couple were to break up.

Ramsey also mentioned that Garregg’s financial obligation to his girlfriend could build resentment, or may lead him to feel that he has to justify his financial decisions.

trending now

The U.S. Treasury Department headquarters building.

News • 179.1k views

The US Treasury just called America insolvent

Investing • 109.9k views

What Buffett would buy in World War III

News • 104.4k views

Michael Burry critical of Trump's Iran strategy

News • 63.9k views

Kiyosaki: ‘Biggest stock market crash’ arrives now

Retirement • 50.8k views

Do you have $500K to $5M saved for retirement?

"You're going to change the tune of the relationship,” said Ramsey. “You're going to change the whole thing if she pays off your debt. What happens when you loan people money is, it changes the relationship.”

The hosts also pointed out that it doesn’t make a lot of sense for Garregg's girlfriend to make this offer in the first place. As Garregg explained, he and his girlfriend are in a long-distance relationship — his girlfriend lives in Switzerland — and she wants him to visit her more often.

Being debt free would presumably make it easier for Garregg to be able to visit. But as Ramsey and Warshaw mentioned, the cost of a plane ticket is a lot less than Garregg’s $35,000 debt, so it might make more sense for his girlfriend to just pay for a few plane tickets.

Must Read

Dave Ramsey warns nearly 50% of Americans are making 1 big Social Security mistake — here’s what it is and the simple steps to fix it ASAP
Robert Kiyosaki begs investors not to miss this ‘explosion’ — says this 1 asset will surge 400% in a year
Vanguard reveals what could be coming for U.S. stocks, and it’s raising alarm bells for retirees. Here’s why and how to protect yourself

Join 250,000+ readers and get Moneywise’s best stories and exclusive interviews first — clear insights curated and delivered weekly. Subscribe now.

Why borrowing money before marriage is risky

Ramsey's advice also went beyond Garregg's specific situation.

"You don't pay off a dating relationship's debt,” said Ramsey. “You do that when you're married."

Ramsey believes unmarried couples should keep their finances separate for a few reasons:

Dating is not the same level of commitment as a marriage. Ramsey believes you shouldn’t pay off someone else's debt until you are certain you’ll be building a shared life together
You don't have the legal protections of marriage. If married couples divorce, they can go to court to make sure assets are split fairly
You could derail your own financial security, especially after a break up
You could change the nature of the relationship, leaving the paying person resentful and the recipient feeling beholden

It’s possible to overcome some of these risks by taking some careful steps, like creating a written contract specifying whether the money is a gift or a loan. If Garregg and his girlfriend were to take this step and specify that the money is indeed a loan, they could also create a repayment schedule that addresses interest costs and frequency of payments.

However, there’s still a decent chance this won’t eliminate the potential for added conflict in their relationship.

What to consider before lending a partner money

If you are considering paying down your partner's debt or otherwise lending them money, you may want to discuss the following before doing so:

How this will affect your own financial goals. If you will be unable to meet your retirement savings goals or risk ending up in debt, you likely shouldn’t give the money to your partner
How you would feel if your partner spent the money on "unnecessary" things when it was intended to pay off debt
Whether you can trust your partner not to get back into debt again
What would happen if you broke up, and whether you would expect them to repay the money
What you would do if your partner were unable to pay you back

Read More: Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works every single time’ to kill debt, get rich in America — and that ‘anyone’ can do it

How couples can discuss money without conflict

Scheduling a time to discuss financial issues can be helpful when addressing a stressful topic like money, as springing such a discussion on your partner at an unexpected time could potentially cause more stress.

When having these discussions about money, try to be open and non-judgmental, and remember that you may need to have several money talks over time as your relationship evolves.

Having these kinds of discussions can hopefully help you and your partner with feeling more ready to merge your lives both romantically and financially. But until then, Ramsey's advice is to keep your finances separate until you're ready to make that commitment.